Help someone I know

  • Talk about what you see and assure them that you are concerned. Tell them you believe them and that it is not their fault.
  • Encourage them to call Naomi Society.
  • Assure them they can talk to you any time.
  • Don’t become angry or frustrated with their decisions. It is important to understand that they may be afraid or not ready to take the next steps.
  • Try to understand why they might be having difficulty getting help. They may feel ashamed.
  • Offer to go with them if they need additional information or support.
  • If they have children, let them know gently that you are concerned about the children’s safety and emotional well-being. They may be more willing to recognize the situation if their children are also in danger.
Infographic with advice for helping abused women that reads:
Warning signs
If you recognize some of the following, it may be time to take action:
He checks up on her all the time, even at work. 
He tries to suggest he is the victim and acts depressed. 
He does all the talking and dominates the conversation. 
He tries to keep her away from you. 
She is apologetic and makes excuses for his behavior. Or she becomes aggressive and angry. 
She seems to be sick more often and misses work
She is nervous talking when he is there. 
She seems sad, lonely, withdrawn and is afraid. 
High risk signs
The danger might be greater if:
He has access to her and her children.
He has access to weapons. 
He has threatened to harm or kill her if she leaves him. 
He says if I can't have you, no one will. 
He threatens to harm her children, her pets or her property. 
He has threatened to kill himself. 
He has hit her or choked her. 
He is going through major life changes, e.g. job, separation, depression. 
She has just separated or is planning to leave. 
She has no access to a phone. 
Support
Encourage her to not confront her partner if she is planning to leave. Her safety must be protected. 
Offer to provide childcare while she seeks help. 
Encourage her to pack a small bag with important items and keep it stored at your home in case she needs it. 
Know that you or she can call the assaulted women's helpline, your local shelter or, in an emergency, the police.
Infographic with advice on how to be a better bystander, called Bystander Basics
What is your orientation? 
Are you a solver? You don't have to solve another person's life. Are you an avoider? There are little things you can do to help. 
Open the door for support 
Overcome your hesitation to help. Reduce isolation to increase safety and support. Remember that you don't have to solve it. 
Safety is the priority 
Learn about safety planning and seek support for yourself. 
You are a powerful being 
Everything you do has an impact. A single kind word can lead to change. Ask yourself, what kind of impact do I want to have? 
Learn the warning signs
Take warning signs seriously - always. And don't jump to conclusions. A warning sign does not automatically mean abuse is happening. It does indicate a flag for your attention.
Learn about risk factors
In situations of domestic violence, risk factors tell you that the violence is escalating. And when you see risk factors, seek advice. 
Be with the person
Between solving and avoiding is learning to be with the person you are concerned about. 
Use SNCit
Talk with the person you are concerned about:
See it. The warning signs and risk factors. 
Name it. Name your concern. 
Check it. Check your assumptions. Ask questions. 
Provided by Western Education Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children.
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