Resources for Men

We offer referral services for men. Please contact us for more information. 

Perpetrators of Domestic Violence

Are you concerned about someone you think is abusive to his partner, but don’t know what to do? This information describes the warning signs and how you can talk to abusive people about their behaviour.

Everyone in the community has a role to play in helping to domestic violence.

Here is what you can do when you recognize the warning signs of abuse:

  • Choose the right time and place to have a full discussion
  • Approach the abuser when they are calm
  • Be direct and clear about what you have seen.
  • Tell the abuser that their behaviour is their responsibility. Avoid making judgmental comments. Don’t validate any attempts to blame others for their abusive behaviour.
  • Inform the abuser that his behaviour needs to stop.
  • Don’t try to force the abuser to change or to seek help.
  • Tell the abuser that you are concerned for the safety of their partner and children.
  • Never argue with an abuser about their abusive actions. Recognize that confrontational, argumentative approaches may make the situation worse and put an abused woman at higher risk.
  • Call the police if the woman or children’s safety is in jeopardy.

If the abuser denies the abuse

  • Abusers will often minimize the impact and deny that they have done anything wrong. They may state that it isn’t that bad or blame the victim for their actions. This type of behaviour deflects their own responsibility for his actions.
  • Keep your conversation focused on your concerns for their family’s safety and well-being and reiterate that abuse is never an answer.
  • Keep the lines of communication open and look for opportunities to help the abuser find support.